• We're not sure if we can or want to work it out? Is therapy even helpful if we are considering separation or divorce?

YES, our therapist are trained to support couples at varying degrees of disconnection, distress, and challenges with motivation. In fact, discernment counseling is a research-based modality we use to help couples through a period of decision-making where ample time and consideration can be given to the process of deciding whether to work toward reconciliation or separation. Additionally, irrespective of outcome (together or apart) most couples benefit from the added closure and peace that can come from making a well-thought-out decision about their future. Also, for couples with children, there can be benefit in transitioning into co-parenting roles in a healthy way and with guidance and support from counseling.
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• How do we know which therapist is right for us?

While it can be difficult to know for sure, which therapist you and your spouse may connect with best, we feel confident that our providers cast a pretty wide net in their specialized training to support couples and family systems within various walks of life. With a high-level committment to training and quality care, we are here to explore your needs with warmth and compassion. We enter each session knowing that we may be just one stepping stone in your journey to find the best fit of therapeutic support, or that we may have the opportunity to help support your therapeutic needs through to the end. In either case, our number one goal is helping YOU finding the best fit for you.
 

• How long will we be in therapy and how often should we meet?

Research shows that while there is some report of relief stemming from even the scheduling of a therapy appoitment, notable or consistent results are not seen until 3-6 sessions have been completed, with most improvements seen after 12 or more sessions. For the first month to two months of therapy, sessions should be held weekly, if possible. If, for any reason, therapy cannot be maintained weekly, then bi-weekly is the next best cadence. Therapy spread out in one month increments can make it difficult to gain traction in making cognitive behavioral or systemic pattern changes. Some therapy is almost always better than no therapy, but making weekly or bi-weekly commitments with the hope of tapering down frequency after the first two months is typically the most efficient approach to achieving therapeutic outcomes. 
 

• What if one partner wants to do individual counseling and one partner would prefer to do couples counseling? Should individual counseling be done first? What if we already have individual counselors? Can we do both?

Often couples have this question and will sometimes have very strong opinions about their partner needing to do some individual counseling before they are willing to engage with them in the couples counseling setting. While it is usually very helpful for couples to enter the counseling space with some existing personal growth steps and overall commitment to the process of self-reflection, our therapist are commited to the protection of a SAFE SPACE. Some wounding can occur in counseling, however it is our utmost commitment to establish safe and healthy agreements where all parties acknowledge their participation in counseling is upon their own free will. Rules about name-calling, or negative/harsh speech will be enforced, reframed in session, and encrouaged to be phrased in the future as "I-statements." Full validation will be given of each partner's emotional experience, even if/when that emotional experience does not match the cognitive or emotional experience of the other party. Couples counseling is typically the most efficient path toward change in the relationship, however, there are certain cases where couples are not able to follow the safety rules of counseling or otherwise pose threats to safety that are not an indication for couples counseling. It is possible for couples or individuals to engage in ongoing individual therapy while also participating in marriage/relationship or family therapy at the same time, however, it is very helpful if counselors can collaborate care to ensure that the simultaneous goals, across settings are not opposing one another.

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• Is therapy more effective in-person than in virtual appointments?

Not necessarily. Virtual appointments allow flexible scheduling and opportunity for therapy to be more cost-effective for the client (saving gas, time, etc.), and especially more cost effective for couples who can engage in therapy from home without the use of additional childcare costs. There are certain challenges with telehealth sessions that do not make every couple a good fit for therapy when utilizing that modality, however, there can be positive and negative attributes to either therapy type and it is by discretion of the therapist when to recommend use of a specific modality.